“People are hard to hate close up. Move in. Speak truth… Be civil. Hold hands with strangers.” Brené Brown
My condolences to the family of Senator Lindsey Graham. His sudden death must have them all in a state of shock. I’ll be thinking of them as they cherish the memories, celebrate his life, and grieve. I confess I feel a bit guilty capitalizing on this moment with a leadership blog. I share this in his honor. I did not know Lindsey Graham personally. I do know him as a fellow service member – an Air Force Colonel with more than 30-years of service. I’ve seen him speak in Congress and through some television interviews, but I never met him or got to know him personally.
What sparked this blog was a social media post I saw from a prominent reporter. I was touched by her short yet heartfelt eulogy. She had interviewed Senator Graham once which involved spending some time with him in South Carolina. The senator was the child of bar owners. His parents died early and he became the family patriarch. Graham had an aptitude, as many bar tenders do, to read people. The post shows a picture of him pouring a beer for the reporter with a big smile on his face. Familiar as I am with the reporter’s body of work, it is safe to say she was the senators’ opposite when it came to political affiliation. To be clear I do not know that for sure, but it seems evident from what I have seen and read. That political divergence was not evident in the post as she chose to focus more on the person she came to know.
The reporter’s social media post was a classic example of what professor, author, and speaker Brené Brown shares – “People are hard to hate close up. Move in.” The reporter ventured beyond politics to know and understand a person. I’m guessing her political views did not change through her interaction with Senator Graham but I’m fairly confident she was able to know, respect, and even like him after getting to know him better.
Leaders invest time knowing their people. Their ‘knowing’ journey and its discoveries enlightens and bolsters their leadership. Good leaders know they must dig a bit deeper than what they see and hear. They must get “up close.” Leaders know others by sharing of themselves. I did this when I took command or became the CEO of an Army Brigade in 2013 by creating a BIO Sketch – an open book on Rob Campbell. The sketch did not include my college degrees, awards, or other accomplishments. Instead, it shared my passions, how I saw my weaknesses, how I wanted to be remembered after I was gone and more. I wanted my people to know me as Rob, not Colonel Campbell. They would, by default know the Colonel as their commander. I wanted them to know Rob. In turn, I wanted to know each of them as deeply as I could. I had nearly 5,000 soldiers in my command therefore it was an impossible quest. Regardless, I attempted to know everyone I encountered as I knew it to be important. I got “up close.”
Know that you do not know most leaders and most people. Indeed, what they say and do does matter, but move in close as this reporter once did. You’ll find amazing things. And if you lead those you come to know, you’ll be able to lead them better.
Rest in Peace Senator and Colonel Lindsey Graham.
Rob
