I’m a product of the countless leaders I encountered in my military career. I watched all of them intently, copied methods and words which worked, and discarded things which did not.
I never found the perfect leader. One does not exist. But I took away all the good, and I practice it today. I remember a few sayings that I thought were particularly bad, and as I coach and lead people, I refrain from saying them myself.
“What if you were me?” This might be used by a leader looking for some empathy or feeling bitter that they have more pressure on them than a subordinate might. But ‘they’ are not you. You should never expect them to grasp the demands placed upon you, the pressures you experience, and the perspective you have. It is, indeed, the job of a leader to:
- Describe the bigger picture
- Be vulnerable and share your challenges
But a leader should never shift the burden of their role onto a subordinate.
“I’m very busy.” What is a subordinate supposed to do with that?
A statement like this might just stifle a subordinate from sharing important information or prevent someone from asking for help when they need it most. Everyone is busy. When a leader says, “I’m busy,” they risk sounding dismissive. Instead, a leader should:
- Share priorities transparently
- Listen intently
- Ask for time to address what’s being shared
“I’m busy” is better left unsaid…
