I once visited a company to have a chat with its leader, Fred. We had spoken over the phone and email, but I wanted to meet in person to help him with a few initiatives he had in mind.
He took me on a tour of his company, located in an old brick factory building. There were people busy at work, grabbing a snack, and even taking a break at a ping pong table.
His operation was fascinating, but what I noticed most was how he interacted with his people: he looked them in the eye.
Fred greeted person after person, patting them on the back, getting their attention, calling them by name. I’ve been around countless leaders, and I could tell he was authentic in his love for his people.
I’ve always said that leadership is love. I loved the people I served with in the Army, and I feel the same about many of my clients as we tackle complex, people-centric leadership challenges. Looking them in the eye is a sign of this love.
I do this with all people. When I’m walking near my home, I look strangers in the eye (even if they do not look back) and greet them.
Some look back. Some are so transfixed by their phones, they fail to recognize I’m there. I even make a point to do this on Zoom through the camera on my computer.
According to Healthline, an online wellness publication, “On a psychological level, prolonged eye contact can benefit your social relationships.” Here are 4 reasons why eye contact matters:
- Helps you recognize emotions. As leaders, we always want to know the well-being of our people. Looking them in the eye is step one in this discovery.
- Increases intimacy. It fosters mutual feelings of love and respect, so important in today’s world, in and out of the office.
- Builds trust. Trust lies at the core of all leader–led relationships. Leaders are more likely to be believed if they look another in the eye.
- Increases connection. Belonging and connection are essential elements of a healthy work environment. Looking someone in the eye reduces boundaries. It creates oneness and connection.
Thank you, Fred, for reminding me of this very important act of leadership: Look ’em in the eye.
Make it Personal!
Rob
