Trust Is the Essential Ingredient
Trust is the essential ingredient for a healthy relationship. Good leaders strive to form a bond of trust between themselves and their people. When trust is broken, often it cannot be repaired. I have fired only a handful of leaders in my time in the Army. In each case, I had lost trust in them. Trust is gained as a relationship forms between leader and led. It occurs as:
- the subordinate does the right thing away from the eyes of the leader
- the leader gives autonomy
- the leader comes to the defense of a subordinate
I believe real trust is formed away from work, such as the break room, or at a company social event, when two people come together to get to know each other and learn what motivates and demotivates each other.
Trust Does Not Equal Absence
Once trust is established, however, it doesn’t mean a leader is absolved of their responsibilities of checking on progress, enforcing standards, and asking pointed questions. It is a leader’s duty, for the sake of the greater organization and team, to do so. It also doesn’t mean the subordinate is absolved of reporting to his or her leader. Nor does it mean they should enjoy total autonomy. These acts of checking on things, of asking questions, may be viewed as mistrust by subordinates. If these acts are left unexplained, it can erode trust.
Here is how to overcome:
“Jen, I trust you, but I operate off information. It is my duty to know what is happening and to ensure we are operating in the band of excellence. Because of this, I need you to report ____ (offer specifics of what information you need). I will also check on you from time to time. I do this only to ensure you have what you need and to help me learn so that I can report properly to my boss and ensure excellence. Please don’t take any of this as I don’t trust you. Can I ask for your help with this?“
Why This Works
This example strips away assumptions, giving the subordinate a clearer idea of why you will act in a way that seems like mistrust. It highlights your role as a leader. Indeed, tone and delivery are important. Leaders should never dump things on their people: “…this is the way it is, live with it.” A gentle yet professionally delivered explanation, followed by an ‘ask’, can go a long way to forming and maintaining trust.
Do the Work
Form and foster trust, but do your job as a leader!
Make it Personal!
Rob
